After I had completed my A-levels way back in 2009, I enrolled at College to complete a Foundation Diploma in Art and Design. The course lasted a year and was an incredible learning curve for me; I learnt how to present my work in a professional way and have it critiqued by my tutors and fellow classmates which prepared me for the structure of the Fine Art course at University.
I would highly recommended completing this type of course before you begin a Fine Art course at University as it was a very valuable stepping stone towards my future course.
I then applied for UCAS and was accepted to study Fine Art BA (Hons) in 2012-2014.
I began to notice that I was having problems during first year, I ended up not turning up as much and I didn't know why. I had no motivation and felt as if I couldn't leave my flat; by the time I had entered into Year two, I knew this problem was not going to go away. Later, after visiting the Doctor, I found out that I was suffering from depression and anxiety, which is something I did not discuss with a lot of people, including those who attended University with me. It was one of the most difficult times in my life and although I do suffer daily with anxiety, I am a million miles away from what I used to be.
Afterwards, I continued with my job at a bar on the weekends for a while but decided that I really needed a full-time job. Once I had acquired one, it allowed me to develop a routine of waking up very early and learning to come home by myself every day. This was a huge step for me as at the time I rarely left the house due to my anxiety; the more I would stay in, the more I wouldn't want to go out.
Although I am not fond of waking up at 5:30am every morning (I don't think anyone is!) it has given me a huge sense of independence and allowed my confidence to grow, as even crossing the street was a struggle for me. However, I knew that my full-time job wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and was not my true passion. So I began to research English Literature courses in the North East, something which I had previously embarked upon but had chosen to study Fine Art instead.
I did not inform anyone, not even my family that I had applied for University, initially from fear of rejection, as I questioned whether or not the Universities would accept someone who had completed their A-levels five years ago in comparison to fresh faced eighteen year olds recently out of sixth form with more recent practice than myself.
After writing my personal statement I waited anxiously for replies expecting bad news, however, to my surprise they contacted me rather quickly and UCAS informed me that I had been accepted onto four of the five courses I had applied for. Needless to say I was ecstatic; I couldn't believe that I had been given a second chance at University to complete a degree that was truly right for me.
I honestly believe that I was not ready when I first applied and would urge anyone in the same position as I was not to rush into applying for University if you don't want to choose a course at this particular time, no matter how muchpressure you are under from your parents or friends; just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it's right for you.
I think reapplying for University is the best decision I have ever made, as not only do I understand literature and language a lot more fully than I used to, but I believe my knowledge has grown vastly the older I have become. For example, I recently reread an essay I had written in sixth form and actually laughed; the quality of writing was poor in comparison to what I can produce now. However, I am not saying that this will happen to everyone, as each individual is different, but this is just my experience.
When I begin to think about this September I feel overwhelming bursts of excitement and exploding nerves! I may be older now, but I still have 'first day nerves' when beginning a new course, just like anybody else.
Finally, I would just like to end on a positive note; you may not be where you want to be at this moment in time but that doesn't mean it won't happen. Do not doubt yourself or your own ambition and strive to complete your dreams, no matter if it takes one year or ten years, if you have the passion and determination, you will do it.
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